34 1/2 weeks. We can almost have our home birth!

Im in such a good mood! With only a week to go before we can feel relaxed to have the babies come when ever. and after fighting a fever and body aches last week. Im back to my old self. :) Im very excited.
I dreamed last night that I didnt feel my contractions and baby a just came right out. (right dont we all wish lol) anyhow she was just like a dolly proportionate and SO pretty. with a perfect combination of me and tony. half and half just like the creamer. lol
Im trying to play as much DooWop and Oldies to them as I can so they have my taste in music. and Im trying to dance around so they have a sense of rhythm lol I also found that dancing was an effective sleeping technique with johnny so I want them to get use to the rocking motion.
 Contractions are coming every day. and it feels I have a bag-o-babies instead of a pregnant belly. it feels real hard and this last US there were baby parts  every where all smushed together and they look chubby so I have the good feeling that they are over 5 lbs already!!!! I had chosen their first outfits in preemie size but who knows if they will fit. :) Im excited to meet them soon
Tony and I met our 2nd midwife last monday and she was so nice and positive. I am trying to get some final reading done in Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth and Birthing from Within. and tony is reading the last bit of The Birthing Partner.
My good friend Sarah is going to do the birthing photography so I am awfully excited about that since she just had a home birth not even a year ago.
I think everything is coming together! and Im so relieved.... Ill write again soon.

32 Weeks along. We're getting there

So in the last month our babies have grown so much. at my last ultrasound they weighed 3 lbs each. I think when I go in on monday for another one. they will be around 4 lbs each!
Ive really have just been taking it one day at a time. the carpel tunnel has gotten better. but I am even more tired then ever. its really about getting alot of rest now... and if I dont my body makes me. Johnny Started kindergarten so its worked out perfectly and I get plenty of time to myself

the 1st week of my 8th month has been so emotionally shocking. realizing that it can happen any moment and that it will definitely happen in 4 to 6 weeks is exciting and scary.
The girls have been great! moving all the time. I wish my husband had some thing that was constantly nudging at his intestines as a comforting reassurance that we are having children lol but of course lucky him just gets to feel the big kicks on his hand.

Since last month Braxton hicks contractions have become an everyday thing. they are so uncomfortable but I just try to breath through it. I went to my first meeting of Moms of Multiples early September and it was so reassuring! they were all so positive and nice. another meeting in 2 weeks. Speaking of reassuring I saw the midwife yesterday and she said that everything is looking fantastic and that I shouldnt worry about preterm labor that if it was coming something would have already happened. Both girls are vertex (head down) so everything is looking great for a home birth in a month or two!
Tony and I talked about names and we really like the names Ina and Una. Inanna Elise and Una Esmee although tony is completely committed to the names I dont think Ill be positive till i see and hold them. :) I cant wait!
Here are some pictures on how the belly is growing.

its even bigger now. but i havent uploaded those yet.

And a few fun things we've done is birthing art

my motherly monkey



and  how I see myself as a pregnant lady









and Tony and I went to Baby boot Camp On base.
the funniest part was him wearing the empathy belly and seeing him trying to get comfortable lol It was fun and informative. and I needed to go over somethings again since its been so long for me since Ive taken care of a baby.  But we are pretty confident now.

We've even set up the crib and co sleeper figured out the stroller and carseats. :) all the baby clothes is washed with baby soap. all their blankies are folded and ready and we are stocked up on 3 packages  of preemie dipers 4 boxes of newborns and 5 packages of 1 and the to huge boxes of wipes lol

 life is great and we are all excited. ill write again soon.

I cant believe I havent written in so long! probably since ive been honey mooning :D

I am 26 weeks as of yesterday! I have been feeling great for the last two months but I feel the 3rd trimester creeping up on me.... oh goodness is the belly BIG!

Ive been so wrapped up in doing things this summer I forgot to write. and Ive been too tired to stay up on the computer...
two weeks ago (at 24 wks) I had my Baby Shower Luau! it was wonderful... my great friend Karoline put it together and my sisters and mom came out to visit.

I think that it was the best possible choice to do it in my second trimester. I still had energy to write thank you notes and do more shopping... we basically have everything we need for the first 6 months now. And I dont see how I could have done it in a few weeks.
for the last month ive been pushing myself.. not giving in to sitting down or not cleaning the house.. but I just feel now like im running out of energy a lot faster. I need breaks often. My belly has just been getting so heavy. It feels like in the last 2 weeks they have grown so much. Im worried if theyve dropped already... but im going to continue to stay positive. I have an ultrasound tomorrow and a midwife appt next week... I hope all is well.
well thats all Ill write again.

June 23, 2011 - 18 Weeks

At 18 weeks they are the size of bell peppers. :)

changing direction

Today I am 4 months along! Im very excited. A few problems have come up from a month ago. My body is trying to adjust for the babies. I get low blood pressure and I get all woozy,  I think I may have carpel tunnel and I now have aches after standing a lot or at the end of the day. I am really getting bigger. I look right now like I looked at 7 months along with johnny. There is 9 inches of baby in there but im just growing out. lol

Last night my whole right arm went numb. It wasnt the first time but it was painful... so I called my OB this morning and the nurse told me to go to the ER that I could be having a stroke. .... I told her that I couldnt be having a stroke for the last two weeks. Up till now I have been trying to give them a shot you know.. saying ok maybe this is better for the babies..  but now I realize its really not good for ME. I spent  6 hours in the ER about 3 weeks ago and all they told me it was low blood pressure and that its normal... I am not looking to sue my doctors........ I am not looking to be any ones medically complicated story.... and I know twins are complicated and different but they aren't anymore hazardous to your health then one normal baby. at least thats how im taking it now... I know im having "problems"... but ive decided to just go with the midwife I was originally going with. But just to be safe I will continue to see the perinatal specialists for ultrasounds. It makes perfect sense. because if worse comes to worse... Ill just go back to the negative OBs and deliver in the OR room. But now I am so excited to go with my originial plan of a home birth.
I have scheduled my first appointment with Joey (my midwife) for the 28th. and although it will cost a few hundred more... I am so positive and think my instincts have pointed me in the right direction :D

14 Weeks/ May 25,2011

I am officially in the 2nd trimester now! the miscarriage rate is like less then 5%. Im very excited about being this far along. I was looking at the 1st belly picture I took when I was 10 weeks and now I feel ridiculous for feeling self conscious then. In a month I will be thinking how wonderful I had it at 14 weeks lol. so here is the belly now. I had an ultra sound done last week but forgot to pick up the pictures. I will try to this week. they look pretty much the same though. they just look bigger.

At the ultrasound there was one baby that was such a sweet little one. he/she looked to be cuddled up towards the bottom. and was just hanging out the other one (he/she shall remain nameless) was acting crazy! i think it was the same one that was acting like a little ninja the first time. kicking and throwing fists in the air. I always thought that with identical twins theyd have the same sort of temperament. but i guess not.
Also Im about 90% sure ive been feeling them move. Only 100% on 3 occasions though. Its so exciting! i talk to them as if i know the exact reasons why they are bothered. ... ill say I know I know ill get you some water right now lol or i did forget that prenatal vitamin hu? or something silly like that.
I cant wait till Tony or Johnny gets to feel them. I felt johnny early too at 14 weeks. but i was thinner then by like 20 lbs
Speaking of lbs Ive gained 12 lbs already (sign) they say its good to gain 5 lbs in your 1st trimester with twins so im only up 6 and if there is anywhere i can blame 6 lbs on its my breasts. theyve gone from a's to c's in 2 months. and I can honestly say I am not happy about it at all. I keep telling myself just to be accepting with it all.

On a different subject It was our One year anniversary yesterday!!! tony took the day off and we headed up to MD for the day we found a wildlife refuge off of the highway that was really nice. they had a big exhibit  considering it was out of the way.

and out side was a great path with lots of geese we  also saw a deer eating lilies

a turtle crossing the road,

a red winged black bird, and some little bugs.It was so nice.
After that we had dinner at Medieval Times!

Johnny made such a gorgeous knight. and Tony such a handsome king. :D
it was a great day.. not to mention it only took a little over an hour. over all it was a wonderful day and 1st anniversary.

belly shots?

Tony and I have decided to start taking belly pictures every week since we both feel that its going to grow fast. I dont know why its so big. Apart from being twins, I am carrying around 100% more blood they say and all the water im constantly drinking adds to its overall size and it just looks huge because im sure on someone taller it wouldn't look so bad.

I have another specialist appointment on Tuesday the 17th where Ill get another ultrasound. So it may mean lots of pictures since i will be seeing them every 2-3 weeks. Im very excited to see them again. and to see how much they have grown. I am 12 weeks along now and the babies are the size of limes.

I am almost into the last week of the 1st trimester!! so the chance of miscarriage drops :D and although im confident with this pregnancy there is still the worry. other then that the babies are developing normally and everything looks good. they are identical which add even more wonderment to this whole thing. I mean its kind of creepy that they are going to look exactly alike. but then I wont ever have to decide which one outfit looks better. Ill just put on both. and they'll have each other. and maybe that telepathy thing... the possibilities are endless! they'll be so cute. I want to find out the gender as soon as possible! I want to know what to buy or put on my registry. lol


Ill post my next ultrasound pictures Tuesday.
ill write again then.

Little ones

We had our 2nd ultrasound on friday april 29th 2011
and here is a picture of my huge belly already on april 30th

We're getting use to the idea...

So its been a few days since we have found out we are having twins. On Sunday the hormones kicked in again and I spent an hour crying lol Why? well.... a little of everything. overwhelmed, elated, helplessness, joy, worry and in the end i was even crying about crying lol thats when I knew I should stop. Tony came upstairs when I had already gone through a box of tissues and consoled me that he would never leave, always help, and that everything was ok :') after that I felt much better... and felt very silly for crying and worrying but I think it was for the best because since then I have been very positive. After that we drove down to the book store and bought Twins! you can guess whats its all about.
I have been having conflicting feelings about how and where I should have the babies. At first it seemed only right to ditch the old fashioned way I was favoring for conventional medicine with obstetricians and a perinatal specialist but after some research I am not so sure. There is a higher rate for full term natural births with midwives While a normal hospital birth with a regular ob has 60% chance of c section and higher chance of low birth weight and prematurity.I went to visit Stafford hospital (the local hospital where I would give birth) today and although its not so bad the nurse there told me as a precaution twin deliveries are always transferred to the operating room right at birth. I feel uneasy about that. I want a natural birth without the bright lights and the poking....but I dont want to be unsafe. I think I am leaning to my current OB... just because Im tired of worrying about it. We'll see... I have an appt with the specialist on 29th for another ultrasound and another with OB on the same day to start all the testing. Ill just stop thinking about it for now and wait.
I am getting excited about the Idea of twins though! I am looking for good light car seats and a rear facing double stroller. a co sleeper to fit two. and Im looking forward to having a nice big belly with extra kicking in a few months. Im sure I will be so tired then but I like the idea now lol.
Johnny blurts out "Your pregnant," to me "with two!" at random times. I wonder what he thinks. He looked uncomfortable with my crying the other day and asked me what hurt. He gives me a kiss and asks if I feel better. At the market the other day a really bad headache made me throw up in the bathroom. He looked really grossed out lol poor baby. Over all he seems happy.
Tony is trying to be as involve as I am in this whole thing but he is going through a whole career and lifestyle change so its understandable that he is in two different worlds at once. but even with that he still is so reassuring and wonderful. and in the next 2 months when I get bigger he might grasp it more.
I cant wait to find out what they are!!! boys or girls. I am hoping they are girls just because I dont know how I will feed and take care of 4 boys ... I mean 3 boys and 1 man lol. but If they are boys I will think how lucky i am to get two of what originally just wanted one of. anyhow I will write again on the 29th if not sooner.
I have to figure out whats for dinner tonight. and speaking of food our babies are the size of kidney beans this week :D

Our babies!

Eureka!

I have found a midwife! ...Today Tony Johnny and I had lunch at Panera and met Joey our midwife, She was great! she has lots of experience and is really reassuring. I am glad that I followed my instincts and decided against the other place. I am so glad that I will have the personal experience with someone through my whole pregnancy and delivery and what makes this even better is that I dont have to go anywhere, she will be coming to our house to do all the checkups!! how wonderful is that?! I am so happy with the way things are working out.
I have been having some other eureka moments. like this afternoon while i was making dinner for us I was thinking about my first pregnancy with johnny. I had wanted (like i want now) a boy and over a few days last week I had really worked myself up with worry about having a girl. I even spent a few hours crying but my a ha moment today was a subtle acceptance. I realized like before i have absolutely no say in what has already happened and that I will love my baby regardless.

Other then that life is still pretty good. We are having the first ultrasound done tomorrow! I am very excited!!
I am remembering how things happened with Johnny more now.  I  remember that it was an easy pregnancy but I also remember that I wasn't working and that I would sit around and read a lot. So I very well could have had the fatigue I am having now I just had more opportunity to relax. Anyway my point was that I remember the feeling of seeing my babys heart beat for the first time. How exciting it was even though it was still such a little thing. I am looking forward to seeing that again tomorrow. Specially since it has been 5 years or so since i was last pregnant. I am so excited. Ill write again tomorrow...

The father of my next child

Tony reading to me in one of his funny accents!
the finger waving is very important for making a point in this reading.

(hes trying not to laugh when he realizes im filming)

To birth at home or not to birth at home?

Tony and I decided to have a  home birth!!  .... .....  hum.... now we just have to go through it. lol
I had Dr appointment on Tuesday. It turns out that the appointment was to collect information to get a chart together to send up to my a military ob. but since we've decided to do a home birth i canceled it (and I prefer a civilian dr anyhow). I switched my Insurance from tricare prime to tricare standard so i wouldn't need a referral. I had called Birthcare, A group of midwives that works out of Alexandria VA, they Scheduled an appointment for me for May 3rd. since that was about a month from now (a long time if your worried)  I called my old ob and went in to get blood work done and I scheduled my first Ultrasound for april 14! how exciting. and after I got home I called birthcare again today and asked for something earlier and they scheduled me for the 18th. I am worried... birthcare even though they do home births you dont see only one midwife... you see several and when delivery time comes you dont even really get to choose. to me thats a total turn off. almost the whole point is to be comfortable with the person thats assisting you. So im not too excited. and another thing. I like my normal OB dr a lot. Shes nice, understanding, and I never feel rushed and she delivers in a hospital really close to home. Im conflicted. I called another midwife (Joey from Sacred Journey) thats farther but she would work closely with me. Im excited to see if she would help me ... but I am worried if i should even be thinking of doing this thing at home. the whole thing is a tough decision. I want to have this baby naturally and preferably at home. with my husband and son and maybe an extra doula. I didnt have a negative experience at the hospital the first time like some people ( but then again what the heck did i know back then i was only 18). but I would like things differently I want to sit in my rocking chair. walk around. take a bath sit on my yoga ball.or meditate. light candles and sit in the dark,  i want to be listening to oldies and relaxing for the first 8 centimeters. basically i just want comforting things to make things go by easier. I dont know but i am envisioning it so strongly maybe i shouldn't even question it....... but then I remember the pain lol.... yay... what if i'm a weenie? lol  what if i really need medication. what if the baby wants to take 16 hrs like johnny did. Im just scared and worried.
I guess this isnt really a good blog. since im just ranting. but there it is.

Pickles

There where a few things that compelled me to take a pregnancy test. One of course was missing my period but even that wasn't a big deal since it is normally erratic and late, second of course was the tenderness in my breasts that I normally don't even think about. but the third was the pickles. The Saturday before we found out Tony Johnny and I When to a local park thats near our house. It has several fields where they play soccer, baseball and other sports. in the middle is a playground (that on the weekends is swamped by the younger siblings of those who play) to the right of that playground is a soccer dad that hangs out on the weekends and sells hot dogs and drinks. it was a little chilly so we sat on a sun warmed bench opposite of that. Johnny was busy playing and so Tony and I went to get a water, Tony decided he wanted candy, I decided that a pickle sounded soooo yummy. After we went to sit on the bench Johnny would come back every few minutes to ask for either a bite of candy or of my pickle. After I finished the pickle.... I bought another. I know I have cravings for things once in a while... but eating these pickles made sense to me. As if having pickles in my diet regularly would be an improvement. I thought of why I wanted not just one pickle... but two that day... and even though I worried I pushed it out of my mind after we left. Over the last few days Ive been eating pickles out of the kosher pickle jar in the fridge. Its looking half empty (or half full :) ) today.
the other night when I was making tomato basil and mozzarella risotto I had the urge for garlic.... I chewed on a slice of garlic and although it was pretty spicy it was really good. Even the idea sounds good to me right now... when I told tony that he said it must be his baby (as if it wouldn't be! lol).
Who knew cravings hit so early?

And speaking of food...
this week the baby is the size of a lentil! which is part of what we are eating tonight for dinner! how appropriate. :D

here is the park
the place where i got my pickle is in the background

The Big News!

Tuesday Tony had half of the day off. All three of us went to the local pool, Johnny was very eager to try his new blue goggles. We had a great time. Tony was amazed to see how well johnny was swimming. After he went to work, Johnny and I went to the market to do some shopping. We were passing the personal hygiene section and I thought to myself.. 'hum.... it has been a week'  I bought 2 $3 pregnancy test (after about your 4th test you start buying the cheapest) and thought nothing of it. Threw it in the race car/shopping cart along with our meals and snacks for at least the next 3 days. Went to the eye doctors place to pick up new contacts then after calling Johnny a grumpy gus 2 (or 3) times for acting so moody we drove home. I brought in like 7 bags of groceries and two 24packs of seltzer water (we fly through them). I sent Johnny for a nap upstairs since it was so obvious he needed a one. I unpacked all the groceries and 10 minutes later I was going to go make sure here was having quiet time not just playing but I peeked in and he was fast asleep. I went downstairs and looked at the box and though 'what the heck?' I needed to go anyway. 2 minutes later as I looked at the test i had to hold on to the counter because i was sobbing with so much happiness. I couldn't believe that after almost a whole year of negative tests, ONE finally came out positive! Well that lasted a good five minutes i think. with all kinds of positive thoughts from, "Im going to be a mommy again", " johnny is going to be a big brother!" , to "Why did i get a cat again, should i get rid of him?" , and "What have I had to eat these last few weeks.", and of course "why now? what did we do different?", " was it my constant hula hooping?" lol or "Was it Tony reading about evolution and wanting to procreate?" a millions questions really... then.... I started to get worried.."What if we have another miscarriage?" and "OH NO, What if its a false positive?!" so quickly i grabbed a bottle of seltzer water and drank almost all of it! 10 minutes later I prematurely took another test lol... 2minutes later... my hand is shaking holding another plus (positive) pregnancy test. 'This might actually be happening.' i think to myself. but no it cant be happening... For sure this brand of pregnancy test is faulty! I have to go get another. Tony is working late that night I had time. I called CVS and asked them to refill my prescription from months earlier. Before I left home I called my sister Joanna and asked her what I should think. of course she said the best thing to relax, take it easy, that miscarriages happen when its suppose to. to be positive and happy!  cried a little more then headed to CVS for a new pregnancy test and prenatal vitamins. As Joey suggested one of those that spell it out for you. Of course when I got home and took the test it said 'Pregnant' i thought it was finally safe to tell Tony. We picked him up that day. When he was in the car I told him I bought prenatal vitamins and a pregnancy test. He asked "why, do you think your pregnant?" i nodded, (Johnny from the backseat:"Mommy show Daddy the blue thing")"Are you pregnant?"  I nodded "your Pregnant?!"  ."mm hm" I cried and he got teary (lol because as sad or happy as this man gets ... it seems that tears cant go any farther then the corners of his eyes) he hugged me, we kissed, and we both smiled really wide.

We are going to have a baby!